they say every big journey begins with a single step. or something like that. anyway, for most of my life, every big journey has begun with a wonderfully delicious date with something incredibly unhealthy. do normal people make decisions without consulting krispy kreme?
this time, this time is different. my weight has been a struggle on and off my whole life. i had a skinny period in high school. but it didn't last long. ok, let's be honest. i spent a year sipping almost all my calories. thank you slim fast. once i introduced solid food again, the weight came back and then some. in 3 years time, i gained 70 pounds. and by the time i graduated college, i was over 200 pounds. at 5'1", that's some serious weight to lose. then i decided, after consulting duncan hines, of course, that it was time to have 2 children in 2 years.
so here i sit, after 2 ceseareans, with a nicely depressing number taunting me everytime i step on the scale, and wondering just what in the hell am i going to do!? both pregnancies were laden with health problems- including gestational diabetes. i also have PCOS (google it if you aren't familiar, it's a bowl of freaking cherries, really), i am insulin resistant, carbohydrate sensitive, i have high cholesterol, and am depressed/anxious constantly. so here i am, staring down the barrel of a serious problem.
clearly, i'm too lazy to do any of the hard work associated with losing weight the old fashioned way (insert huge eye roll here. i have, in fact, tried everything from the grapefruit diet to hours in the gym with a personal trainer. my metabolism is just screwed at this point) i already have some insight into the battle i am about to fight. i know the stigma associated with WLS, and at this point, i just don't care.
see, i know people talk shit bc im fat and they will talk shit about how i lose the weight. i'm realistic here. i also know that it is not going to be easy. that this isn't a short cut. and i am ready to take the leap. without consulting ben and jerry's first.
tomorrow, i am going to the WLS seminar. tomorrow, i am taking the first step.